The other day it hit me. It's fall(ish) and school is starting. I was all of a sudden reminded of how much I loved my days at Texas A&M and especially the fall semester. I was telling my husband this and he said it was probably because that was when we actually had a decent football team. As much as that might be true, I think there is something more.
I thought those four years were tough on many levels, but the hardest was to be away from the young man I would marry (who was at Baylor). I see now that they were not quite as hard as I made them out to be (well except for A&P I and II) and I now feel deeply how special they were to me. I made amazing friends, had a blast staying up late, hanging out at Sweet Eugene's (even though I didn't like coffee), making Sonic runs with my roomies....I could go on forever.
Like most of us I have some regrets about college. I see how God allowed me to be more independent in my journey with Him while forcing me to make my own choices about where He fit in my life. But thankfully in His grace He never let me go too far.
Probably most of all, I wish now I would have worked harder to make the most of those years. I was lazy and selfish. I spent my free time in front of a television watching "A Wedding Story" on TLC and wishing the years would speed up so I could get married. I would try to finagle my schedule to see how fast I could get out of school while still taking a pretty easy course load. (I really think I was a moron.) With that genius attitude, I made the first "F" of my life in Physiology (in the Vet school).
I wish I would have given more of myself in service and would have starved the desire to be comfortable instead of nurturing it. Although I attended church in college, I waited to get involved in my church until my senior year, and even then it was not as much as I could have been. (And really it was only because my friend Julie was super involved. I relied on her waaaaaaaaay too much--sorry Jules!) I couldn't allow myself to do too much because I wanted to devote weekends to seeing Wesley.
I was in Bible studies and I am thankful He showed me grace and still allowed me to learn from them. I went to the BSM, Breakaway, and even Bible Study Fellowship, and as wonderful as those resources were I was prideful about the knowledge I had.
I will never forget a conversation I had with my friend Amy one day at the bus stop after our volleyball class. She said she was tired of being a "fat Christian". She said all that she had done during her time at A&M was go to church and Bible study expecting to get fed. The problem was, she was well fed, but never exercised her faith. That summer she would go on a life changing mission trip to Turkey where she would meet her future husband. They now serve overseas together--living their lives together teaching others about Christ.
That conversation has never left me, but it didn't quite impact me at the time the way it does today. You would have thought I would have caught on a little more since I was a Kinesiology major. I mean, that's pretty basic fitness education. You take in more calories than you burn=overweight and in spiritual terms that means stagnate.
Since then, I feel like there have been a few seasons in my life where God was trying to make up for the time I lost there. I guess you could say He's been pushing me so He can redeem that time. I know I mustn't dwell in regrets, but learn from them and encourage others not to make the same mistakes. I've shared this with the girls in the college Bible study I used to lead at our church here. I encouraged them to make the most of their time and spend it on what really matters.
I don't know why I felt like I needed to confess all that, but maybe it will encourage you to "exercise" a little from time to time. Here's what I find myself clinging to whenever I start to worry that I've blown it:
Philippians 3:12-14, "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
