In my living room hangs the major project I focused on during my senior year in high school. It’s a graphite drawing inspired by the cover of a 1970s issue of National Geographic. I loved the photograph the instant I first saw it. The focus is a little boy’s face. He is shyly peeking out from behind one of his hands while his father’s large hand rests upon his head. The drawing took me six weeks to complete. I could have spent longer on it; however, it was due and had to be entered in a local art contest.
I realized something recently. More than ten years later, I still cannot look at the drawing without seeing its flaws. The moment my eyes turn toward the piece of art they are immediately pulled toward the part I struggled with the most. I am constantly saying something like, “that looks terrible” or “I’m a horrible artist” because of one or two specific areas (and completely ignoring the fact that the judges awarded it a blue ribbon in the contest).
A few days ago I was discussing the drawing with someone who didn’t realize I had an interest in art and I immediately began to criticizing it. “But there are some huge mistakes…I am really disappointed in this particular area…all I can see is where I messed up….” She asked me, “Paige, if I were to look at it right now would I notice the areas you are talking about?” I was silent for a long time and then answered her honestly, “No, probably not.” She then asked me if there were any parts of the picture that I did like. Once again I thought and I said, “Yes, I think so.”
That day I while I was home I stood in front of the picture for a long time with my mom (who was my art teacher in high school). I told her about the conversation I had with my friend and she asked me what I liked about the picture. I pointed out the detail I had so painstakingly gone into…the textures of the various fabrics, the folds, the highlights, the shadows. I was truly happy and even amazed at what I had done.
Then it hit me—so often that is how I live my life. I become so fixated on my flaws that I can’t enjoy the good and beautiful gifts that God has given me. All I think about is where I’ve messed up and where I’ve fallen short. I choose to ignore the opinion of The Judge who has proclaimed that I am not only gifted but precious to Him. I’ve been so blind! I’ve been blind to the rich textures and varying lights and shades of my life and who I really am in Christ.
Like the little one in the picture who smiles bashfully, I must remember my Father’s hand is upon me as well. He made me. Loves me. He doesn’t expect me to be perfect, but to simply abide in His love.
Please don’t get me wrong, I think it is important to evaluate our lives and allow God to continue working on the areas we fall short of His standards (sanctification), but if we don’t stop every once and a while to rejoice in the beauty and goodness God has placed in our lives we will grow bitter and question our true worth. I know this because this is where I’ve been living for a while. Thankfully, our Saviour was sent to set captives free and give sight to the blind (Luke 4:17-19).
May you truly see what He is doing in you and rejoice! This is what I’m working on today.
“…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”Philippians 1:6
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