Writing Blog Tour

Howdy! If this is the first time you've visited my blog, welcome! My name is Paige Brooks. I am privileged to be a wife to Wesley, mom to a pair of amazing kiddos, and part-time Physical Therapist Assistant. I am a lifelong learner and I am passionate about sharing what I learn through writing or teaching.

I am very  thankful to my dear friend Elizabeth Oates for tagging me in this Blog Tour. Because our children are very close in age, we have spent many hours together laughing, crying, encouraging and praying for one another--especially during those early years of motherhood. She has been a huge encouragement to me in many ways, but particularly as a writer.

A gifted author and speaker, Elizabeth is serious  about seeing marriages and  families thrive. You can check out what she’s working on here: www.elizabethoates.com

What are you working on?

• www.barefootbiblestudy.com  :: My new website, currently under construction. I’d love to tell you that I immediately thought of this name for my website after reading the passage about Moses removing his shoes as he approached the burning bush or the story of how Jesus told Peter he had to allow Him to wash his feet, but, alas, no. It is nothing so spiritual. If you are really dying to know where the name came from you’ll just have to come back for the launch!

The whole purpose of the site is to provide people—but particularly women—with resources and tips to study Scripture. It will also be a place for us to process through the whole concept of loving God with our whole being—with special emphasis on loving Him with our minds.

• Immeasurable Life: A Study of the Letter to the Ephesians :: I had the great joy of writing this Bible study a couple of years ago—but it only continues to grow! This fruit of God’s faithfulness  blossomed out of a wilderness season in my life. He has allowed me to teach it three times—twice for women in my own church community and once in my own home. Currently, a modified version is being used by a college ministry (for young women and men) in Houston, Texas under the name Rooted: A Study of the Letter to the Ephesians.

• Investig8 Life with Jesus :: When my husband and I offered to teach the “New Believer’s Class” for children at our home church, we never imagined we’d have so much trouble finding material that truly addressed what we believed to be so crucial to a child’s understanding of the Gospel and the Christian life. So, we wrote our own! We have now taught the class using the material three times and are constantly trying to clarify and nail down what the kids really need to understand about a relationship with Jesus—all without compromise or watering down the Truth.

How does your work differ from others of its genre?

I’ve loved writing since I was a child. Whether it was creating picture books or even writing papers in English class, I could easily be found happily hiding in my room under a pile of loose leaf paper or college ruled spiral notebooks.  

Over the years I’ve begun to see a few themes appear in my writing no matter the topic. One of these themes is learning to use Genesis (particularly chapters 1-3) as the primary lens through which to study Scripture. This perspective has not only had a huge impact on the way I read and study the Bible, but it has also facilitated and fueled a greater passion for God.

Why do you write what you do?

I believe lives are changed by the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and although women’s Bible studies are a dime a dozen these days, many of them seem to lack depth and sound theology. I hope the writing God allows me to produce will teach and challenge women, but more than this, I want them to know they (through the Holy Spirit) are fully capable of studying Scripture for themselves. And how do I know they are capable? Because God enabled me to as well!

I haven’t been to seminary (although it is a dream!). I’m an ordinary girl—a full-time wife and mom with a part-time day job—but I’m an ordinary girl who is hungry to learn about and fall more in love with the God of the universe! I dream of equipping other ordinary women to find satisfaction for their soul in the Word.

How does your writing process work?

It is not unusual for inspiration to slap me in the face at any time—10:48 a.m., 8:24 p.m., or even 2:39 a.m. (This one seems to be God’s favorite time to inspire me…usually by waking me from a sound sleep.) I can’t always spend time on the ideas right away since I might be at work or taking care of my family.  I have multiple notebooks in which I scribble thoughts,  I use the Notes app on my phone, or I type them in my “Idea Folder” on the computer.  I jot ideas down with at least some context and detail so when I do revisit the idea I am less likely to wonder what in the world I was thinking.

My husband  and I have agreed that it is important for me to have uninterrupted writing time and the best time right now for our family is Sunday nights and Thursday nights after everyone goes to bed. Since I have set this time aside—and especially with my husband’s support—I have been more productive and focused than I have ever been before.

So, who’s next?

Kristen Bennett is a senior public relations major at Baylor University. This chick is hilarious and brilliant! I first met her when she was a freshman at Baylor. In her very own words, she “enjoys music, reading, writing, traveling, people-watching, and eating. She loves Jesus and every day is a new lesson in taming her sass so she can better love her neighbor. Her happy places include bookstores, New York City, and airports, and she aspires to work in the performing arts industry upon graduation.” I know you will enjoy her blog. http://kristengracebennett.wordpress.com

Pam Watts a friend and fellow author is a  busy mother of four active children. According to her own testimony she “can't help but write about adventures in parenting--her life and family provide a constant source of material!  Pam loves viewing everyday life through the lens of God’s extraordinary truth on her blog ‘God is My Compass.’" I’m confident you will find wisdom and joy! www.pamrichardswatts.wordpress.com.

Health Update

Well, we are just a wee bit shy of the two month mark since I went into the hospital. Several of you have asked how I'm feeling and what the recovery has been like since surgery. 

First off, thank you! Thank you for asking and checking on me. Thank you for your continued prayers and your encouragement--even this far out from the event itself. We were so blessed by those of you who called, texted, prayed, brought yummy meals and gifts. (The girls at work all pitched in and even gave my kiddos gift cards to Build A Bear!) I'm still getting prayer cards from my parents' church (shout out to Meadowbrook BC!)...making me feel so loved.

Since I posted about our adventure, much of our time has been directed toward doctors' appointments, trips to the pharmacy, a follow up surgery, more appointments, more medicine--and oh, don't forget the sexy compression stockings!

One of our first nights back to Life Group after everything happened, someone asked how long I have to wear my stockings. I smiled and looked at my friend/surgeon (Dr. T.) across the room who answered for me, "everyday...for-ever." It was actually really funny.

I wear them ALL most of the time (just being honest). I only have one pair at the moment and they do need to washed occasionally. I haven't felt like dropping a fortune on another pair just quite yet, although my days are numbered.

Don't let the "sheer and soft" deceive you. They are NOT SHEER, nor are they soft. I look like I bought a bad can of self tanner at a garage sale and decided to put it ONLY on my legs.

But believe it or not, I actually feel better at the end of the day if I wear them than I do when I don't wear them. It's also given me an excuse to buy some new clothes. As much as I know the stockings are helping, those suckers are H.O.T. especially here in our Texas summer. I've decided that Maxi skirts and dresses are my new best friends...especially right now.  I bought a couple of Maxi skirts and I've found some DIY patterns on Pintrest that I might try. We shall see.

Mid May I had a follow up surgery to remove my IVC filter (an umbrella skeleton looking thingy they put in the main vein that goes to my heart in case a blood clot breaks through). During the original surgery in Dallas they put it in through a vein in my leg (which led to other issues, i.e. The Clamp).  Our friend, Dr. T. was doing the surgery (Hallelujah!) and we all knew I was in great hands.

Because of the way it's shaped it had to be removed by inserting a wire/hook into my neck, through my HEART, into the IVC  then pulling it out. Yuck. Yes, I was awake. To say it feels really WEIRD when something goes through your heart is an understatement. Dr. T. let us keep the filter. I really didn't know it was that big. And when we looked closely, we noticed that it did it's job very well--PRAISE GOD! 

(SPOILER: If you get grossed out easily, don't look below!)

(That's Wesley's hand.)

I have another new doctor, a Hemotologist (Dr. H.). He is in charge of my blood. He oversees my medication and makes sure that it's working the way it should. He was able to finally get me to the point I could get off Lovenox shots 2x day to a single, teensy-weensy pill. So. much. better.

Wesley and I actually met Dr. H. and his wife at a dinner party exactly one week before everything happened and I went to the hospital. I even told Wesley that night on the drive home, "If I ever need to go back to a hemotologist, I want to see him." And guess who Dr. T. recommended? Yup. God is so good!

As lightly as I'm making some of this sound, I'll be truthful, I haven't had the best attitude the whole way. When I would complain about my shots, how expensive the meds or my stockings were, how much work I missed, how tired I was, how big the hospital bills would be or how itchy the stockings are my husband has been the one to remind me of truth.

He holds my face in his gentle hands, looks me in the eye and reminds me that if this had happened fifty years ago I might not be alive.

He reminds me the money doesn't matter.

He reminds me of those of you who have constantly been there for us.

He reminds me that GOD'S GRACE IS ENOUGH.

He reminds me to REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS.

I love that man.

And I love all of you.

Again, thank you for your continued prayers, encouragement, and support.

First Day of Summer 2014

Well, ready or not, it's here. Summer.

Here's how my babies spent their first day of summer 2014:

Joy in Pain

Well, our family has had one crazy adventure the last two weeks.

The Saturday before Easter was supposed to be beautiful. The day promised to pour forth perfect spring weather and we were going to be meeting friends from our Life Group for a family picnic/Easter egg hunt.

But the moment I rolled out of bed and my feet hit the floor, dread flooded my heart.

A feeling I hadn't felt in eleven years was shooting up my left leg, and with every step, a memory and a fear pounded through my veins. Over a decade ago I was admitted into the hospital for 8 days with several blood clots (DVTs) in my right leg--only three weeks from my wedding.

The same pain, swelling, and signs that hospitalized me then reappeared this April morning. I refused to believe this was happening again. Wesley knew I was in pain that morning and he tried to care for me, but we chose to go on to the picnic anyway.

It was a beautiful day...just as glorious as we had expected it to be. We took the typical Texas Bluebonnet pictures with our kids in a field covered with Bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrushes. The picnic baskets were broken open and eggs were hidden. The kids were running through the trees pretending to go on some sort of quest. Like I said, it was glorious.

However, despite the beauty of the day, the pain continued to increase. I couldn't bear it anymore. Wesley and I decided to ask our friend David (a doctor) his opinion. David and his family are dear friends and are in our Life Group. Right there at the park he checked my leg and strongly encouraged us to go the local ER.

We took his advice. So here's a run down of the week:

Day 1, Saturday: ER and admittance to the hospital.

Once we were finally taken back to the Emergency Room, interviewed and examined, the ER doctor (a great guy!) ordered an ultrasound to confirm whether or not I had another DVT (blood clot). The test was conclusive. I had a single DVT in my left leg that stretched from my abdomen to the vein behind my knee.

Although the ER doctor had wanted to admit me to the hospital right away, the hospitalist physician (whom I never saw) wanted to send me home with an oral medication. Don't get me wrong, the idea of going home was tempting, but to go home with a clot that size freaked me out. We immediately called another friend in our life group who is a vascular surgeon. He wanted to speak to the ER doctor as soon as possible and then he absolutely forbid us from going home.

Our friend Dr. T told the ER doctor about a procedure to remove the clot from my leg. Well, bless his heart, the ER doctor had never heard of the procedure, but when he got off the phone with Dr. T he said, "Yep, this is what you need. You're going to be admitted right away."

The tricky thing was, this surgery (called a Thrombolysis) was considered "new" at least to our small town. Unfortunately,  Dr. T was out of town for a week and unable to be with us, but he was amazing in arranging for some of the partners from his surgical group to take care of me.

Day 2, Sunday:

Easter, rest and celebration of Jesus's victory over death from our little room in the hospital. I had ideas of what the week might look like but nothing for certain. As we had plenty of quiet in those early morning hours of Easter, Wesley and I listened to a sermon online, Wesley read to me from the book of Ephesians (one of my favorites) and we prayed.

One of my prayers was that this time would not be wasted. I wanted Him to show up. To reveal Himself in all His glory. I didn't want to waste one moment of the entire experience because I wanted to come out of this stronger, with greater wisdom and a deeper faith.

Our family brought the kids up to us. They both seemed to handle everything well, but Josie who is older, did take things harder. At this point in her life, she frequently demonstrates great maturity and perception; therefore, she needed a little more reassurance. 

Day 3, Monday:

Monday was the first attempt at Thrombolysis. Dr. T said the surgeon who would be doing the procedure is the best surgeon in our town and he had complete confidence that he would do his best to help me. The wonderful doctor explained that he would do everything in his power to remove the clot but if he believed the situation to be over his head he would stop immediately and send me to a hospital in Dallas where they performed this procedure on a regular basis.  Just before he left he prayed with us--holding my hand in both of his and asking that our Great and Glorious Physician would lead and guide him to do what was best and that Jesus would receive all glory from the outcome.

As surgery began, one problem after another presented itself, the final one being now that he was able to see inside my veins he saw the clot was actually larger than he had anticipated. He approached my head (I was awake) and very gently said, "Sweetheart, we're going to have to stop. I believe the best thing for you right now is to send you to Dallas." And that was that. This great surgeon didn't allow his ego to stand in the way of doing what was best. I was transported to Dallas that night by ambulance.

Day 4, Tuesday: Baylor Heart and Vascular Hospital in Dallas.

I was taken to the OR and prepped by some amazing nurses. The Doctor performing the surgery spoke very highly of our friend Dr. T and affirmed his decision to remove the clot as soon as possible. By God's grace, this doctor was able to do everything that had seemed so difficult before. Following surgery, I was sent to a room in the ICU where I would be for the next 48 hours.

The surgeon shared that there was a lot of old damage with lots of scarring in my veins. So much that my body had already started to compensate for getting the blood back to my heart by creating new, smaller veins around the scarred tissue. The idea of "old damage" and not knowing how long it's been there is quite disconcerting. But it still amazes me of God's handiwork in how resilient the human body can be.

Day 5, Wednesday: Phase two of the surgery.

Everything was looking good except now I had developed a hematoma near my right hip. The doctor believed that if this hematoma grew it would interfere with the progress being made by the TPA (clot buster meds) in my blocked veins.

Naturally, there's a way to deal with it--manual compression. But if that doesn't work then you get "The Clamp". If the clamp sounds like a medieval torture device, well, then you'd be just about right. Here's a picture:

NOT. FUN.

I can honestly say without hesitation that that was the worst pain I have EVER experienced in my life. And of course, I couldn't get any additional pain medication because my blood pressure was too low.

I'll be totally honest. Tears and yells burst out of me freely. I almost broke Wesley's hand. I was in so much pain I almost threw up and prayed to pass out. I wanted to give up. The nurses (who were INCREDIBLE) would encourage me and remind me that this pain was worth it because it would let the surgery and medication have its full effect on the other leg.

As they gently and lovingly reminded me of this, the Holy Spirit flooded my memory with a passage from James chapter 1.

" 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."  NIV

Years ago I had done a Bible study on the book of James and heard a teacher explain this passage. (I even blogged about it in 2011.) If you have time, I highly recommend you watching this message.

Joy in Pain // James 1:1-12 from Breakaway Ministries on Vimeo.

Finally, as the nurses finished applying the clamp,  I laid flat and motionless for the next 3.5 hours. While being pressed under a great weight, I tried to replay this message in my head. I fought to trust the Holy Spirit that this pain would be worth it because not only would it allow the medication to have it's full effect, but the pain would also give me strength to trust God and rejoice in Him through all the difficulty I was going through. That through this, He would answer the prayer I had prayed on Easter--that it would not be wasted. He would generously give me wisdom--the sanctifying and refining wisdom that only comes through trial.

Day 6, Thursday: 

Day three of surgery was to check the overall progress and wrap things up. Despite a few small/painful hiccups during surgery, everything went very well. I was still slated to receive an ultrasound on my hematoma but ultimately, I was downgraded from the ICU to a regular room and given permission to go home the next day.

Day 7, Friday: 

There was some discussion of keeping me one more day to monitor my hematoma and possibly give me a blood transfusion, but it was decided I was clear to go home. 

Since we've been home, we've relished in the kisses and snuggles from our kids who have kept us smiling. We've all rested and eaten yummy food brought by family and friends. I've also tried to get used to my new routine of medication, recovery and doctors' appointments. I'm also going to get fitted for some really sexy compression stockings that will aid in further recovery. (Be jealous, you know you want some too.)

I have HUGE bruises, mostly from the clamp. I also still walk with some pain. These reminders of the week's trauma will fade, but today and always I will rejoice.

So, what do I rejoice in from this (very painful) week?

I rejoice in God's provision and faithfulness. I saw God arrange for me to be in the right place at the right time with the right people to address this quickly. I rejoice that He has made the human body in such a way that it has the ability to make new veins when others become blocked. He absolutely blows my mind!

I rejoice in the absolutely brilliant, caring, and gifted medical care I was given by every nurse and doctor I came in contact with. I want to boast in the Lord and give great thanks for nurses. I am still amazed at their hearts, their passion, and their tireless efforts to care for and advocate for me.

I rejoice in all the friends and family that stepped forward to love on us through taking care of our kids, cleaning our house, coming to visit, bringing flowers, painting my nails and dry washing my hair, texting, calling, and praying for us. 

I rejoice and praise God for my husband who without hesitation stayed by my side through the entire ordeal even though he had one of the busiest weeks of the year approaching him at work. He was a servant and comforter. He never complained or made me feel guilty for causing him to be behind at work. He was my steadfast companion and friend. My pastor and spiritual leader. What an absolutely beautiful man.

This is how we have joy in pain. We praise God and rejoice in the ways He provides for us in the dark places. Knowing He wants us to be made perfect in sanctification and that His faith is steadfast to complete the work He has begun in us.

Rage Against the Blog

Well, I'm back...finally. I've taken a very, very long break from blogging for several different reasons--not all of them good reasons. Some of the good reasons can be found in other posts (i.e. new job, new house, 2 kids in school, etc.), but that's not really the point of this particular post.

One of the reasons I stopped blogging was FEAR.

I was afraid.

I was afraid to blog because during my hiatus a hand full of friends started their own wonderful blogs and had great success with readers. These ladies are incredible, Jesus-lovin' women and they have mind-blowing, fabulous things to say and I learn so much from them. But I was afraid.

I was afraid that they'd think I was trying to "copy" them (What am I, in second grade?!). I was afraid other people who knew their blogs would compare mine to theirs. I was afraid that no one would read mine and I'd look like a self-promoting, desperate woman looking for people's approval to convince herself she was worth listening to.

I would find myself learning terrific things and I would want to share them with whomever would listen. But then the fear spoke. So I didn't share.

And guess what. That fear turned into REBELLION.

I rebelled against blogging even if I felt God put something on my heart. It was as if I sat down, crossed my arms and wallowed in self pity. Like a jealous teenager, I stopped reading blogs completely. I refused to be willing to put myself out there knowing I should (even if it's only a place where I can process my own thoughts).

A while back, I heard of this thing called the IF: Gathering. It was going to be a conference of women gathering in Austin and broadcast over the web. I knew of the ladies in charge and refused to follow their ministries and very popular blogs simply because they were, well, popular. Don't get me wrong, I liked what I knew about them and respected their ministries but wanted nothing to do with them simply because they were the new Christian celebrities.

Our church decided to host a live simulcast of the IF: Gathering and invited women to come participate for free. I bet you knew my reaction.

I made up my mind not to go. I didn't want anything to do with what was "popular."

While I turned more inward, God waited patiently. Then a couple of weeks before it took place I felt Him clearly say, "Hold your horses, Miss Priss. Who do you think you are? You are going to that conference, so sign up right now."

I've known God long enough that when He starts speaking to me the way I sometimes have to speak to my eight year old, I should probably drop everything and obey.

So I did. It was a great time of encouragement, refreshment and challenge. The messages were exactly what I needed to hear at this season in my life. Our family has some weighty decisions we're trying to sift through right now, so I didn't even realize I was carrying the weight of those decisions on my own shoulders. Thinking that I was responsible for the successful outcomes of whatever choice we made.

But the real freedom came after the conference. At home. With the Scriptures, my journal, and Jesus. You see, obediently participating in the simulcast was just the first crack that appeared in the dam. When I got alone with Jesus--and just sat with Him, asked Him, listened to Him, I felt the dam begin to break and years stagnant junk started gushing out.

The already heavy decisions we were trying to make for our family came crashing down on us, leaving us completely disoriented. I cried more that week than I have in yeee-ars. But the more He broke the dam, the more refreshing the water started to become.

Above my computer I have a simple sign I printed and hung up over a year ago. I heard one of my favorite teachers say the first three parts of this. He explained that he constantly has to remind himself of these things to guard his own heart from the consequences of striving after them.

I've had Truth staring at me in the face for over a year and I was completely ignoring it! If I continue down the road I've been on, performance, acceptance, comparison, and selfishness will be the death of me! God forgive me!

So, I begin to work out my salvation in a small way that may seem insignificant to most. I'm going back to my blog. Not for myself, but because God has led me to do so. Who knows what it will look like...I sure don't. Who knows if anyone will read it...but it doesn't matter now does it? I write for the joy and pleasure of my King.

A New Home

In the summer of 2012 we sold our house and moved into a house we LOVED a little bit closer to town in a more established neighborhood. And the only reason that's important to us is because it has TREES! Big, beautiful, majestic trees! Here are some pictures of the process.

Bye, bye first house!

This is a perfect picture of how I was feeling. At this point I was studying for my boards and trying to get ready to move. NOT smart, Paige. Not smart.

Shortly after we moved in my parents got home from Colorado. Some of our family friends own a pizzeria and they sent us this as a house warming gift! Love me some Poker Alice Pizza!

The kids got a trampoline since we left the playscape at our old house. (We did put a net around it later.)

This? Well, let's just say this was the bane of my existence and the cause of headaches for the first few months we lived in our new home. This was ev-er-y-whe-re. I mean it. Nightmare.

Check out the background to this picture...it is only enhanced by the lovely countertops. 

We had a professional come deal with this mess.

Painful.

Much better!!! We are so pleased with the colors and it has totally transformed the whole house.

This bad boy is still hanging in our breakfast area. I can't decide if I hate it or if I actually like it.

Did I mention trees are some of the best parts of the neighborhood?

We are so incredibly blessed that God allowed us to have this home. It has already been put to good use hosting all sorts of gatherings from Life Group to baby showers and from family holidays to slumber parties. He has given us so much more than we deserve.

The End of a Season

In April 2012 I finished school! Woohoo! At times it seemed to never end, but looking back it really did go by quickly.

God has shown his faithfulness in so many ways during this season. Providing not only the finances to pay for it, but also the time, energy, support and "brains" to do it. He gave Wesley supernatural patience and understanding, and even the kiddos didn't appear to be too frustrated.

Currently, I am blessed to have a job as a Physical Therapist's Assistant at a local pediatric outpatient clinic. It's so great--I work part time, setting my own schedule so I have the flexibility to still be actively involved in my kids' school. I'm seriously overwhelmed sometimes.